cheesemonkey wonders

cheesemonkey wonders
Showing posts with label #TMC13. Show all posts
Showing posts with label #TMC13. Show all posts

Saturday, July 27, 2013

Twitter Math Camp 2013 — reflections on a sustainable model of hope

At Twitter Math Camp 2013 (#TMC13) this morning, I was both amused and inspired to read these two tweets — one by one of my math ed inspirations and another by a colleague I could not respect any more than I do and whom I can also call a friend:
Like my spiritual and general life role model, Wile E. Coyote, I am invariably hopeful in a small sense that this will FINALLY be the moment — that perfect moment when all my best-laid "plans" will do the trick and I will, at long last, have the solid, effortlessly nourishing, and unshakable ground beneath my feet that I crave (and that I believe I so richly deserve).

But years of experience have taught me that that is the "hope" of an Indulging Baby — a person who looks like an adult on the outside, but who really walks around believing that my every problem, need, and desire in life should be solved by benevolent and invisible external forces. This is in harmony with my frequent conviction that my life really ought to operate like one of those behavioral experiments in which, each time I press the correct lever, the Universe promptly and consistently rewards me with a food pellet.

So I'm sure you can imagine my annoyance with the reality that life — and teaching — refuse to cooperate with my first-draft of things.

For the second year in a row, I have blown away by what I receive at Twitter Math Camp. The best, the most creative, the most resourceful, and the deepest-thinking math teacher I know in the English-speaking world show up and share with me their 'A' game. This is not so much a blessing to me as what I would describe as a complete fucking miracle. In sharing, in presenting, in participating, and in attending, every single person at this conference gives me a richer PD experience than many teachers ever get in an entire lifetime.

And in a sense, that is the point.

For me, this conference is about refilling the well at The Great Oasis of The Impeccable Warriors. There pretty much are no Indulging Babies here at TMC. If you want somebody to take care of you and make you feel better and wipe your butt, well, this is not going to be the place for you. Everybody here is truly impeccable. To me, that means that everybody does the very best they can in whatever situation they are in. It's a stone soup mindset. If everybody has crap, then we will be eating crap soup that night. But if everybody brings one small, precious ingredient to the soup, then we will be eating like royalty — or at least, like Silicon Valley-based organizations that are overfunded by the Bill and Melinda Gates Foundation (use your imagination, or consult @fnoschese's Twitter feed and/or blog).

That is not to say that everything is perfect. People are still people, which means we can all sometimes be thoughtless, stupid, impulsive, stubborn, rude, and a whole host of other things.

But what makes this work, I think, is that everybody here owns their own "stuff" and is willing to be accountable for what they put into the communal mystic cookpot.

The truth behind the truth is, I brought my 'A' game too. I worked for three months on my sessions, planning, preparing, reflecting. You guys are my tweeps. My tribe. Even though I had an almost totally crappy year, I did not want to let you down. And I have learned that I will get back in proportion to what I put in (cf. CCSSM 8.F.1 and 8.F.3, and passim).

So my challenge to everybody who is attending Twitter Math Camp for the first year this year is to reflect on this question:
Now that you have fifty percent as much experience with TMC as even the most experienced Twitter Math Campers among us, how are YOU going to help make Twitter Math Camp just as amazing next year?
I strongly believe that the people who show up for something are exactly the right people. So, hey — welcome to the club of Impeccable Math Camp Warriors! You certainly have something important to contribute, or you would not be here reading this.

You don't have to answer this question right now. But if you want this to be here next year — both for yourself and for others — it is important to hold this question in your heart as you process the experiences you've had these past several days.

I believe that hope is a process, not a destination, and I believe that what Steve Leinwand was responding to was the awesome force field of being in the presence of 125 impeccable warriors all being impeccable together — 125 math teachers who don't simply complain about what a mess things are, but rather who each grab a mop and say, oh, I see— I'll do it.

Saturday, May 18, 2013

An act of wisdom

"One thing I know for sure is that when you are hungry, it is an act of wisdom each time you turn down a spoonful if you know that the food is poisoned."                            
— Anne Lamott, Operating Instructions
There are some truths you have to live, even when that path is hard. For me, this is one of those times. I have this quote hanging over my desk, which is helpful because I have really had to live it this school year. Every morning I need to remind myself of the wisdom and sanity of this perspective.


For me, this truth is bedrock. 

I resigned from my current school in March to remove myself from a toxic situation that is still unfolding. My conscience told me I could not be a part of the direction that is being pursued.

I had to turn down the spoonful to save my soul because I knew in my bones that the food being offered had been poisoned.

Hence my current job search.

I may have resigned that position, but there is no way on earth I am going to leave this profession.

I am a very effective and highly qualified teacher of mathematics, which is an area of desperate need and critical shortage around here. But we are living through an extraordinary period of economic uncertainty and complete political insanity — a time in which our leaders oscillate between one extreme of grandiose talk about "reforming" public education and its opposite of all-out panic at the crisis-level reality of our schools' current situation. 

Our leaders are lost, and our children are bearing the brunt.

The Serenity Prayer instructs me to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to reach out and change the things I can affect, and the wisdom to discern the difference between these two very different kinds of things. 

So as I apply for new jobs and do interviews and give demo lessons, I am also choosing moment by moment to renew my focus on growing and improving my practice as a teacher of mathematics.

And as I do this — even as I fret or worry about finding a new position — a curious thing keeps happening: I keep falling in love with math teaching all over again.

I've created a really great project-based learning (PBL) version of the Barbie Bungee activity (see here and here and here and of course, here), and I'm doing the same thing for the Double Stuf Oreo measurement extravaganza I plan to guide my students through this week. I am learning a ton about differentiation through teaching problem-solving from the online course I am taking from Max Ray at The Math Forum, even though I feel like I can never do enough of the coursework. And Kate Nowak (now of Mathalicious!) and I are having a blast brainstorming our 'PCMI Problem-Solving, TMC-style' problem-solving session for Twitter Math Camp '13 in late-night Google doc chat sessions.

I am hoping that all of this work will be of benefit to me in the fall, but the reality is, of course, that there are no guarantees.

I remind myself daily of the three great teachings my own teacher Natalie Goldberg passed on to me from her root teacher Katagiri Roshi. These are:
  •  Continue under all circumstances
  •  Don't be tossed away
  •  Make positive effort for the good
I am working on writing up and sharing all these lesson ideas and learnings that I'm figuring out, but to be honest, I am struggling to find the time right now. So I am taking good notes to help me write up these blog posts over the summer.

I also remind myself of my amazing good fortune to have my tribe of math teacher-bloggers in the math twitterblogosphere. You support and inspire me every day, and my gratitude for you is bottomless.